Articles are available for reprint as long as the author is acknowledged.

YES, National Organization of Women, Parenting is Worth the Sacrifice

Domenick J. Maglio, Ph.D. Neo-Traditionalist

No professional job description asks more from a person than parenting. It requires all aspects of our brainpower, creativity, courage and will power to be successful. This most demanding commitment in our lives directs us to change our life’s goals. Our thinking shifts from self- concerns to family concerns. We learn to sacrifice our personal wants for the good of our spouse and children. Individuals are motivated to mature into adults to be effective parents. Parenting is the gateway to adulthood.

This natural progression into becoming a responsible parent has been culturally subverted. For the past forty-five years the feminist movement has indoctrinated us that parenthood is a worthless and demeaning pursuit better left to high school dropout caregivers. According to these unfulfilled feminists a woman’s career is the only thing that is important.

We are beginning to witness a change in the cultural tide. More professional, educated women are choosing to remain at home with their children while their husbands assume the primary role of wage earner. Both wife and husband are delaying many personal gratifications for the sake of raising healthy children. There has been a quiet revolt against the self-centered feminist agenda.

It has never been easy to be a good parent. Usually only after starting a family do we begin to appreciate what our parents did for us. Shaq O’Neill, the famous basketball star, says his real father is the career military stepfather who raised him, not his biological father who had nothing to do with his life. Quality parents are there.

A worthwhile parent makes his decisions through the prism of how it would affect the child. It takes work and effort to reprioritize one’s time, effort and long-term goals. Many things that were possible before a child are not possible after a child is born. Things like sleeping late, eating a meal without interruption, placing valuable items where they are aesthetically pleasing without concern for the breakage are gone. The baby’s things begin to accumulate until baby clutter results in a reorganization of the house to maintain order. Even packing the car becomes a major project whenever you visit family or friends. These changes are only the beginning on the long-term road of raising the child.

The concern for the child puts a brake on many impulsive, inappropriate decisions of parents. Now upgrading one’s home, car, or career position is viewed from the perspective of the impact on the entire family. No matter how good it feels to indulge oneself the growing up parent realizes those days are gone.

The answers to being a good parent are simple: it is just not easy to do. Contrary to elitist pronouncements, parents do not need to take a licensing course to be a good parent. They need to grow up. Mature people realize that being blessed with a child means they will move from self-centeredness to caring for another. A child’s misbehavior might require a parent to cancel a planned trip to Disney or to the mall. It takes discipline for a parent to follow through on her word as it prevents her from enjoying the activity too.

There is no magic pill to make parenting painless. Accidents, illness, defiance, disobedience, dishonesty are only a few less than pleasant occurrences parents endure in raising any child. We can ignore these instances or we can tackle them and solve them.

Parenting is a lot like pruning thorny roses. It is not a pleasant chore and you get scratches and bruises in the process. However, if the roses are not tended you end up with a wild thorny mess. The dividends from pruning come with the new growth of beautiful rose blossoms.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It is a complex duty that demands all of our resolve. Raising a child takes many difficult choices in changing one’s lifestyle. There is no instant gratification for many of the responsibilities are repetitive ones. There are no guarantees everything will be smooth sailing. In fact we can be assured there will be turbulence on the seas toward adulthood. Although the journey will be trying at times the payoff for the parent is a healthy, functioning child.

Understanding the ultimate goal of raising a good person gives us the patience to restructure our goals. Eventually we will appreciate our legacy as we bask in the love of our children and their children. The amount of money accumulated in one’s life pales in comparison to the lasting accomplishment of positively affecting several generations of one’s family and through them the community.

Mature parents see the sacrifice necessary in parenting as an opportunity to make a difference in the world.