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Punish Parents for not Spanking

Domenick J. Maglio, Ph.D. Neo-Traditionalist

Many parents are not spanking their young children for blatant misbehavior. It could be fear of public disapproval, fear of the police or just pure laziness. The lack of spanking either indicates parents do not think they have a right to spank or they cannot change behaviors that endanger the child and others.

Instead of encouraging parents to use moderate spanking, we have "bleeding heart" representatives who want to make it a crime to spank a child in the state of Massachusetts. This ban will fail as is has in California and other states. Over 90% of Americans have been spanked for doing something wrong during their early life and are fully functioning people.

Elizabeth Owens, from the Institute of Human Development at the University of California, at Berkley, has shown in her 12-year study that there are no negative effects on cognitive, social and behavioral skills from moderate spanking. Obviously, severe corporal punishment is an abusive, criminal act that is a different issue than moderate spanking.

Outlawing any spanking because some parents could possibly harm their child also means we should make it illegal for parents to kiss their children as that might lead to incest. Moderate spanking not only does not harm a child but helps the child eliminate dangerous inappropriate behavior from his life. It is an immediate, non-verbal way to inform a young child to stop and listen when words would be too slow and abstract to prevent a tragedy.

A slap on a toddler's hand or behind is like a picture that is worth a thousand words. This message is direct to the pain censors of the brain: "whatever you are doing, stop." This lowers the probability that a particular behavior like spitting will not occur again. It is the most effective way of actually inhibiting inappropriate behavior not just stopping it temporarily.

Today's children are like "Curious George," they do whatever strikes their fancy. They push whatever button is within their reach, open drawers and doors and grab the remote. This is considered precocious and cute unless you want to teach that child to respect the property of others and decrease potential accidents.

This issue of a child doing whatever she feels like or whatever she wants to grows more dangerous as the child physically matures. The child's new ability to walk opens up many options to her. Bolting through a door into traffic, shifting a car into drive, diving into an unguarded pool are only three examples of life and death situations that can be avoided by training children to ask for parental approval before doing anything new. During the formative years establishing the child's need to seek approval from his parents before trying anything out of the ordinary gives him the parameters in which to safely function. Permissiveness does not provide this.

Spanking a child when he does an outrageous act gives him second thoughts before trying it again. The parent should tell the child the reasons for the inappropriateness of his actions and help him generalize why adults frown upon certain behaviors. Even with getting a child's undivided attention, lecturing a young child without giving appropriate consequences is a futile act.

Misinformed people have shaped the modern culture message that all spanking is abusive. They are undermining the power of parents. It is directly harming the ability of children to just "do the right thing" rather than debate and override the parent's guidance.

Modern children are wasting valuable time attempting to "get over" authority instead of observing, listening and imitating them. They are being psychologically labeled and drugged into submission at ages as early as 2 years old. We as a society are writing these children off before they have had the opportunity to live.

It is criminal for parents to shirk their responsibility of disciplining their children under the guise of fear of looking bad in front of others or being investigated by law enforcement. Eliminating spanking from the repertoire of child rearing makes it difficult for any parent to emphatically teach right from wrong.

It takes courage to be good in anything. Parents doing the right thing for their children's long-term health are developing healthy citizens for the future of our nation. Parents not living up to their duties as disciplinarians should be held accountable by being ostracized by others.

The Biblical saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" implies that parents have the responsibility to discipline their children. They should not be punished for appropriately spanking but for not spanking because spanking does teach the child not to do particular behaviors.

Dr. Maglio is the author of Invasion Within and Essential Parenting. He is a psychotherapist and the owner/director of Wider Horizons School.