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The Slacker Generation: No Pain No Gain

Domenick J. Maglio, Ph.D. Neo-Traditionalist

Parents are not administering pain although are they too often the recipients of it. Children today are like con artists blaming their parents for not buying them the latest iPod, not feeding them unhealthy tasty treats and for passing the parent’s imperfections on to them. As if this parent abuse were not enough, these children perform the ultimate act of revenge: refusing to leave home even after graduation from college and/or entering the labor market.

We are raising a generation of “slackers” because we are placing them in a bubble to protect them from physical and psychological hardships. Modern children cannot be spanked nor have their self-esteem lowered. Their open defiance, lack of respect and effort are ignored to avoid traumatizing them.

This is idiocy.

We are creating spineless children who are ill prepared to deal with the inevitable pain of living. There is the pain from falling when learning to walk, the teasing and fighting with peers, sickness and unavoidable accidents.

Pain is a great teacher. It puts an exclamation point on our actions and resulting consequences. When you stub your toe it hurts. The betrayal by a person you trust is much worse. Pain is a signal that we have a problem.

Yet parents immediately swoop in alleviating any distress their child might face. They throw money at the problem. They provide tutors to support lazy study habits. They buy the most expensive of everything including purchasing friends for their children through elaborate parties and gifts for them. If all this fails they obtain the latest prescriptions to make their precious child feel happy and acceptable to others. This zealous process robs the child of feeling discomfort that directs him on the right path.

Our children’s natural immune system to withstand pain is not being developed. Instead of the children gradually learning to cope with all types of problems, these modern parents are mistakenly expecting them to face life’s pain without any prior exposure.

Modern children are too sensitive to all forms of stress. Their response is to shy away in fear from confronting the challenges of becoming an adult. They withdraw from the next stage of life and refuse to leave the safety of their materially addicted lifestyle furnished by their parents.

This is in stark contrast to past generations who rushed out the door to get away from the restrictions under the thumb of their parents. Modern kids cannot be pried from the irresponsible freedom and luxury of their parent’s home.

No wonder this generation is slacking. They are scared to death to fly solo. They know their parents have not taught them to land successfully. Parents feel too guilty to kick them out of the nest.

The “Slacker Generation” has disabling fear and no motivation to enter responsibly into the next phase of life. They prefer to blame their parents for all their shortcomings and to remain dependent on them. These ungrateful children take all the riches of their parents and give back little or nothing.

The following are concrete ways parents can motivate their children to be independently successful and stop being perennial parasites:

  • There is no better way to empower your child with humility than to encourage him to work around the house and yard or take an entry level job.
  • Halt the entitlement practice of receiving an allowance. You cannot make up for pain by buying your children everything you didn’t have. That only creates ungrateful, whining adults and disappointed, abused parents. It is much better for your child’s development that you inform him that you will not charge for teaching him important life lessons.
  • Administer actual pain in punishing your child’s misbehavior. Children pay attention and retain moral lessons when they are remorseful. A spank on the behind or clearing the child’s room of all possessions makes a clear statement that you mean business. Of course it is essential to tell him that you take the time to discipline because you love him and require him to tell you what he learned from this misdeed.
  • End using painless punishment like removing the TV set from the child’s room while leaving the computer. Do not give time-out to the child who loves to nap or play in his room. Stop preaching to them when they only pretend to listen. It is a waste of time for everyone. Do not tell the child he is not going to Disney and then go anyway or keep the whole family from going and make him feel empowered that he can control the family, especially when he has done wrong.
  • Feel good when you discipline your child. Discipline is love. Besides, you are motivating your child to leave the home when he is eighteen years old to correct all of your “mistakes”.
  • Reprimand your child for not doing his homework instead of spending additional money for a tutor. Most tutors will be manipulated by the modern child to do his homework. This only increases the child’s laziness.

Any winner has to learn to cope with pain to overcome adversity. Allow and encourage your child to experience the normal everyday pain of life when they are young so they can be prepared to deal with larger doses when they are older.

Slackers are created by misguided, slacker parents.